Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Back in the Motherland

It has been over three months since my last post here! Too long, too long. And it has been two years since I have come to Korea. Not that long at all, compared to the eight years I waited beforehand. So here I am! If you want postcards, give me your address. If you want me to buy you something, tell me specifically what it is you want (Gardy: tell me again which specific dramas you wanted). And if I like you, I will buy it.

So life here is pretty alright. The food is cheap, but since I'm always eating out my wallet is suffering. But my cousin bought me two BOXES of instant noodles so hopefully I will start eating in. Except I'm not exercising (our classes are like 5 minutes away and I can't go to the gym), so all that MSG and whatnot is going to go straight to my potbelly. Sad times. I can't stand the bathrooms though. Specifically, the showers. I have never lived in a res hall before (other than for like two days for orientation), and these showers are nightmarish.

The people here on my program are nice though. Made a lot of acquaintances. But only about one friend. She's this very nice Shanghainese girl from UCLA (doesn't this description make you think of Gardy?) I met at the EAP orientation (and that's where the similarity ends). The only thing is that she lives in the off-campus suites and is thus TWO! miles away from me *cries* My roomie's very nice, but she's managed to make closer friends with other girls and I feel like such a third wheel when I'm with them, always tagging along and asking what's going on. I miss my friends from home. I miss my independence at home. I could always just stay in my room by my computer, but then what's the point of coming here? I could have just taken summer school at UCLA.

Which is why Korea is just okay and not fantabulous. I also feel like such an.. outsider here (not just friendwise, but pop culturewise). Back at home I was the fobby one. I was definitely out of the loop when it came to Korean dramas, TV/game shows, celebrity news, etc.. but maybe because I was usually the only Korean, it wasn't too bad. But here I can feel my out-of-the-loop-ness so much more explicitly and.. it hurts. Miloni (from the EAP office) has recruited me to help her with her project, and I'm supposed to report to her on how studying abroad here in my motherland affects me and my identity as a Korean-American. Back at home I think I was much more into the Korean side of my identity, being the wannabe fob that you all know and love. But here, I feel like my Korean side is withering, dying, because it was so poorly cared for. I want to be fobby (while still retaining mastery of the English language--and accent), but it doesn't seem like it's working out for me.

I didn't mean to make this such a long post, but all these thoughts are filling my head. Sorry! ^^# I hope you still want to come and play with me! Cheap yummy food, great TV (with lovely commercials featuring hot celebrities!), good shopping (I have yet to go but I will before I leave!), and ME! How could you resist?

Before I leave, I just want to remind you all to comment. As my beloved but MIA Gardeenie knows, I am a comment whore. And since you don't even have to sign in or belong to Blogger, you have no reason not to! So comment damnit!

And I will leave you with what my mommie ended her first email to me with (she is too cute in her emails!):

Smile all the time so make other people smile too. People will like you. <: