Monday, August 14, 2006

Or Not?

First off, I would like to thank everyone who's commented and emailed me with their opinions and support - I really appreciate it. Seriously. And finally, after a lot of thinking, crying, and praying, I have come to a decision. I know that some of you were wishing for the other option, but I hope that you will still all accept and support my decision anyway. It was hard, and I have no guarantees that I will not regret this choice, but this is the decision that I am making nonetheless.

I am going to finish off the year at UCLA.

Yes, studying abroad in New Zealand really would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. I don't deny that I'll be missing out, and that I will probably start crying again when it's time for the New Zealand EAPers to leave and I'm not one of them. And I don't deny that my reasons for staying at UCLA may not necessarily be the best ones. But I'm sick and tired of being depressed and hung up over this, and I don't think my paranoia can handle it much longer either. I feel that if I did go, that while on one hand I would have a blast there, I would also be constantly worrying about my future and classes and credits and whatnot. You know I stress like no other. And UCLA does not have a history of being kind to me. I also would like to finish up my senior year surrounded by my friends, whom I love dearly, instead of returning back from New Zealand to find.. no one. I also feel that if I did go, I wouldn't necessarily be going for the right reasons. I feel that part of me is pressured to go to New Zealand so I don't disappoint people. I've made such a big fuss over going to New Zealand and bothered all of you, and now if I don't go.. that was all for naught. But I can't go to New Zealand for the sake of others, right? I think talking to one of my cousins also really helped, because she told me that no matter which decision I make, I shouldn't think that it is a cop-out or a sell-out or that I'm selling myself short. And I think that that was something that I had worried about, maybe unconsciously, and it was a relief to hear it and helped me towards making my decision.

But this does not mean I'm giving up on New Zealand. Me? Never! I am instead going to put England off and go to New Zealand first to intern after I graduate. My ideal plan is to intern here in LA the summer after I graduate, so I can hang out with friends and whatnot, then fly over to New Zealand and intern there. And then hopefully onto England. These are, of course, currently nothing more than cotton candy dreams but hopefully they'll become a reality. And when I intern in New Zealand, I will be living there and experiencing the kiwi lifestyle. And living up to my middle name of danger by bungy jumping and sky diving. And you guys can all come and play with me then!

So that's that. Sorry I dragged this whole thing out and made a mess of it when in the end I'm just here to stay. I really do sincerely apologize. But this is the decision that I've made, and I once again hope that you will all be supportive of me like you've been up to now. And thank you.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

New Zealand?

Hello all. I know that I haven't followed through on my promised updates and that I haven't really been talking to any of you and have instead been quite hermit-ish. I apologize for this.. and will remedy it.. sooner or later. But first things first. I have a pretty important issue at hand that I need to deal with ASAP.. so I would really appreciate it if you would read my story and give me some feedback. Thank you.

So some of you, or all of you, should know that I have been planning on studying abroad in New Zealand for Spring Semester 2007. And as some of you found out, I was devastated earlier this summer when it seemed that I would be unable to go. Thankfully, the people at the EAP office looked into it some more and there is a way I can go, but it involves a lot of if's. And I hate if's. If things don't go exactly according to plan, I am going to have to stay at UCLA for a fifth year. And even if things do go exactly as planned, I still have to take summer classes when I come back in order to graduate. Now the question is: IS IT WORTH IT?

My mother doesn't seem to think so. Seeing as I'm not exactly the most die-hard fan of Auckland University (never having heard of it before I looked into studying abroad), going to New Zealand isn't exactly all about the education for me. So my mother believes that I should just finish up my college education at UCLA and then travel to New Zealand later. Some friends have given me feedback that goes along with this line of thinking. Others have given me the opposite. About how studying abroad is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (that I'm interestingly enough trying to do three times) and whatnot.

So PLEASE give me your feedback into whether or not you think that I should (1) study abroad in New Zealand and face the high risks, or (2) safely finish up my senior year at UCLA. The reason I need to know is because parking permits are now available and I need to know whether or not to purchase the year one or just the fall quarter one. And also because if I'm staying for the year, I need to start cracking on looking for a place to stay. Thank you.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Extreme Makeover: FOB Edition I

Hello everyone! Your favorite fob is back! I wasn't going to post until the end of the week, but much has happened since the last post and I know you guys are all curious. Responses to comments and updates to the gift list will come at the end of this post.

Extreme Makeover: FOB edition! (Part I)

Okay, so yesterday was Phase I. As I was shopping for earrings to give to people, I realized how much I wanted to buy them for my own. But my ears aren't pierced! And so, with the encouragement of the people around me, I decided to--yup, you guessed it--pierce my ears! (Pictures will come at a later blog, don't worry. Actually, some are up on FB right now). So now I have my ears pierced. Therefore, if you ever get the urge to buy me pretty earrings, now you can! ^^

And today was Phase II. Went today with a couple friends to get manicures and pedicures. My nails and feet are so pretty!!! I love them. But of course, I immediately proceeded to ruin it. They say old habits die hard. I have a habit of putting my leg up as soon as I sit down (like half cross-legged style, hope you understand what I mean), and I of course totally ruined my left big toe. It was so pretty. And now it looks.. very.. odd. Marred. Quite sad. And then later I finally bought a pair of high heels! I know I bought a pair in England, but I never wear those. I will so wear these! I think they're so cute ^^ Pictures will be uploaded later this week.

Friday will be Phase III. Already made my hair appointment. I'm going to get it slightly cut a little more and get.. dum dum DUMMM.. colour coating! I was thinking of dying my hair a lighter brown and not being very.. out of the ordinary.. but I've wanted blue hair for several years now, and have decided that this is the time to do it. So I'm going to get blue colour coating done on Friday. Exciting times~

So this is what's going on in my life. But it's not all fun and games. I have a horrible final tomorrow that I'm so not prepared for (so horrible that my friend wants N. Korea to invade us so we don't have to take it T_T), and my ears still hurt. I'm really worried about them. And because of them I could not sleep well last night and woke up feeling a bit sore (all because I was avoiding sleeping on my ears). And now my left big toe has depressed me. But in the end its all fobby and gravy *^^*

Replies to comments/emails:
1. Christina Chiang: Yay--you're first! And not because of your name, but because you're so special and I love you oh so much! I was actually thinking about you and Lois and Sweethearts in Paris.. I had a feeling you guys hadn't watched it T_T You got 3.5 weeks before I get back to watch it, so get a-crackin'! (I'm coming back August 26th). And I miss you too~!
2. Gardeenie: The spoons have to match the chopsticks! You can't have mismatching utensils! Oh noodlehead *shakes head* And why do you keep referring to my hair as something that already happened? I told you--it's going to be on Friday! And yes I want something Australian! Maybe you should get me something penguin-y. Although that's more Antartic than Australia.. And no glass plates!
3. Kenisha: I will try to find you something that you will be proud to display ^^ And wow, congrats to Josh! On both the internship and his niece! And congrats to your brother too! And yay for you too! Wow, research at the medical center! Sounds amazing. You will definitely be in my prayers ^^ I have 3.5 weeks left (coming back Aug 26th). Can't wait to see you! And hear all about the bartending lessons! You must teach me all~
4. Ariana: Hmmm.. maybe I'll try to find those animals from Propose. The exact ones! Hahaha.. jk! I'll make sure to get you something fobby *^^* And yeah.. my soap opera has yet to even BEGIN. What's going on, miss writer?!
5. Christine Chung: Yay for you thinking of me! I miss you~ And I will try my bestest to get a fobby accent! Kekeke ^^
6. Tasha: Nooo.. suckies for closed up ear holes! Now I'm scared of infections O.O But I will find something fobby to replace the earrings. Keke. Any requests?
7. Dena: Oh my lover!!! I miss you too!!! I was hesitant about putting you on here, displaying our love here in public for all to see.. but you were just too sweet! Would it be bad for me to say that I want more than just you from Africa? I want something.. African! OH.. you should find my lecturer from Cambridge and bring him back for me! Kekeke. No, I just want you too. Come back to me~
8. Joycie: I do love how you made up your mind while writing the email to me! I will be sure not to disappoint you ^^
9. Suzan: I hope you like what I'm getting you.. *nervous*
10. Jinwon: Fine! You don't get anything XP We'll celebrate your birthday when I get back ^^

Gifts, gifts, gifts:
Just going to update the previous post as I buy gifts.
Link: What do you WANT?